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S07 of 12
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Leading people

Navigating conflict

Hot conflicts are about meaning and identity, not data, so more analysis rarely ends them. Slowing down and inquiring does.

01

Readings

Amy Edmondson and Diana McLain Smith · California Management Review, 2006

Too Hot to Handle? How to Manage Relationship Conflict

Cool conflicts yield to data. Hot ones yield to examining your own reasoning and asking about theirs.

  • Cool conflicts are about facts and can be settled by analysis.
  • Hot conflicts involve values, interests and identity. Each side reads the same facts differently.
  • Leaders first notice their own reactions and the story they are telling themselves.
  • Then they share their reasoning and ask about the other person’s, before arguing for a position.
02

See it

Hot or cool? Sort six disagreements.

Lab 07.A

  1. Which vendor has the lower total cost

  2. Whether the new CEO respects the old guard

  3. What last quarter’s churn rate actually was

  4. Whether remote work shows commitment

  5. Which of two launch dates the data supports

  6. Whose team gets credit for the turnaround

Cool ones end with data. Hot ones touch identity, values or interests.

Five ways people handle conflict

Lab 07.B
COOPERATIVENESS →ASSERTIVENESS →CompetingCollaboratingCompromisingAvoidingAccommodating
Tap a mode.

Thomas and Kilmann. Outside the assigned reading, useful for the lab.

Play this sheet · 2 minHow do you fight?Six everyday clashes reveal your go-to conflict style.
03

Frameworks

Hot and cool conflict

Edmondson and Smith

S07

Cool conflicts yield to data. Hot ones yield to reflection and inquiry.

CoolAbout facts, settled by analysis
HotAbout values, interests, identity. High stakes, strong feelings.
First moveNotice your own reaction and the story you tell
ThenShare your reasoning, and ask about theirs

Five conflict modes

Thomas and Kilmann, outside reading

S07

Assertiveness on one axis, cooperativeness on the other.

CompetingAssertive, uncooperative
CollaboratingAssertive, cooperative
CompromisingMiddle on both
AvoidingUnassertive, uncooperative
AccommodatingUnassertive, cooperative
04

Check yourself

Q1A conflict over whose values the strategy reflects is

Q2The first move in a hot conflict is

Q3Inquiry means

0 of 3 answered.
05

Think it through

  1. P1Think of a disagreement that kept coming back. Was it hot or cool?
  2. P2What story were you telling yourself about the other person?